When All Else Fades

I believe you can choose to stand firm and praise God in the storm or blow away in it. 

December 11, 2013.

 I laid in bed and cried knowing what was happening to me...to our baby. Everything around me seemed to fade. I felt helpless. All I wanted was to stop what was happening and yet I had no control over it. Thoughts flooded my head, "What did I do wrong? Why me? Will this happen more than once?" I may never know the answers to those questions, and that's ok. I also think it's natural for those thoughts to run through your head.

I've come to notice a few things since I've had my miscarriage. One thing is that people are afraid or feel uncomfortable talking about miscarriages, either their own or others.  I'm not afraid, ashamed, or embarrassed to talk about my miscarriage. (I understand that some people choose to keep their miscarriages a secret, and that is ok also!) I don't believe that I did anything wrong to cause my miscarriage. I believe that these things just happen and it's usually our body's way and God's way of letting go of a baby that wasn't developing properly for some reason. Miscarriages are way more common than most people think…1 in 5 pregnancies end in a miscarriage. This doesn't make it any less sad when they happen… it's truly heart wrenching and only those who have experienced it can truly understand what it feels like to lose their baby that they never got to hold. I strongly believe that if you've had a miscarriage it does not mean you didn't deserve your baby, it doesn't mean you would have been a bad mom, it doesn't mean you are being punished for something. I can't tell you why you or I had to have a miscarriage but I can tell you that God loves you AND your baby! God is holding your baby (and mine) in his perfect arms :) Yes I'm sad, very sad that I lost my baby but I'm still OK and I'm going to keep praising my amazing God. I'm OK because of my faith in God and trusting that He is in control and has a plan far better than any plan I could come up with for myself because I don't know all… but thankfully He does!

In the midst of my heartbreak and loss I have learned (still learning) and experienced several things:

While I'm still very sad that I have miscarried our baby, I find comfort in believing that our baby is now in God's hands…really there is no sweeter place for it to be!

I have experienced God's enormous amount of peace and comfort and have truly felt His presence.

I felt the love and prayers from sweet family and friends.

I believe that everything happens for a reason…even if I don't know the reason….God does and that's what matters.

I've learned  am learning to let go of control….because really I had NO control in this situation…it's always best when we let God be in control.

I've realized that worrying never helps, instead it allows satan in and it symbolizes a lack of trust in God.

I've felt God's overwhelming amount of love envelope me.

I praise God for blessing me with a loving and supportive husband, family, and friends.

We have a God of love and mercy and grace…really we truly do!

It's not that I never knew these things before…but they have definitely been made so much more clear to me through this loss.

I've chosen to stand firm and praise God through this storm. I refuse to let it blow me away. After all…when all else fades…God's love is everlasting and HIS light will shine through!!! 

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever. 

Psalm 30:11, 12

Take a few minutes to listen to/watch these videos below. I find myself listening to these often :) 

Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns

From the Inside Out by Hillsong United

Your Hands by JJ Heller

Michael and Maria by Steven Curtis Chapman

Simple Reminders

I haven't been too fond of living in the North so far. I dislike the flat land, the sunless summer, the cold (WAY TOO COLD) Fall and Winter. The way of life is just different, not bad…different.  As I drove through town a few days ago I was suddenly in awe by all the trees.
They were stunning! I've never seen so many purple, red, yellow, and orange trees.

It hit me then that God's beauty shines through everywhere. Not only does God shine through by making beautiful trees during the Fall in an otherwise boring Indiana...but He shines through even during difficult times in our lives. Whenever I think things are spinning out of control and I don't know where God is leading me...I'm somehow reminded of God's beauty and goodness. God's love is unfailing...He never abandons us…. He never forsakes us…. God is good….even when I'm blind to it! Today I'm thankful for the beautiful Indiana Fall trees and their gorgeous colors. I'm thankful for such a simple reminder that God is everywhere, bringing good in all circumstances!

Second Chances

I sit on my couch and stare at my blank walls. My eyes fill with tears as I don't know what our future holds. Then I hear my husband playing his guitar and singing in the next room. The words coming from his mouth are from the song "Second Chance" by Rend Collective Experiment. I suddenly am reminded that I have a God who gives us countless second chances. No matter what I do, He loves me and He forgives me. How could this God not provide a home for us? If I have a God that loves me enough to send His son to die for me would He not also provide all that I ever need? Of course He would!!! Why do I worry? I'm still trying to figure that out. Hopefully one day I'll stop worrying about things. But for now I'm thankful for another second chance. I'm thankful that God forgives me from my worrying and reminds me that He is good. Being content in all circumstances and living FULLY trusting in God is not easy... but it's what He calls us to do. I can not do it by my own strength but with God's help I sure will try. 

Second Chance by Rend Collective Experiment

Daniel 9:9

The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him;

Matthew:25-34

 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Waiting on God

There is a time and place for everything

…waiting is my season right now.

I admit I'm not the most patient person. Waiting for Christmas to come or waiting to see a family member can be hard but it does not compare to waiting on God. Waiting on God is often difficult but we can choose to praise God while waiting and receive huge blessings at the same time.

 I know that doesn't seem to make sense but let me explain. When I'm waiting on God I find it difficult because I can not physically see God and don't clearly hear His voice.  In today's society we want everything NOW. God does not work that way. God keeps no record of time. God is the same every day and never changing therefore there is no being late with God.

Thankfully we have the option to live by faith and can decide to TRUST God and can choose to be content during our waiting period. I believe God has us wait at times to help us grow in our faith. God kneads us like dough to make us rise.  The kneading process can be long and tiring. When you're frustrated and worn from waiting, remember that God has not forgotten about you.

God has a plan and His plan always comes together in His perfect timing.  Open your heart and allow God to work in you and strengthen you during your period of waiting.  It's not always easy but in the end we will see the benefits of waiting and realize God has a reason for everything. Never stop praying and asking God for guidance. Pray consistently and specifically and pray trusting that God will hear your prayers. We are God's children and I believe He will always take care of us.

I find comfort and peace in these verses below when I'm going through a waiting period. 

I also love this song---> While I'm Waiting by John Waller

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

                   

Proverbs 3:5-6

But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.

Micah 7:7

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Matthew 7:7-8

 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]?

Matthew 6:25-27

but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!

Psalms 66:19-20

Do It Yourself Home Decor

My house has no spectacular home decor... however it has a few pieces that I made myself and I am proud of that!! I don't believe you have to have a house full of expensive items to make it feel nice. A house feels nice when you make it your own and allow it to become your home and let it be a welcoming place for family and friends! Here are a few pieces I have in my home that I made…thanks PINTEREST for the great ideas!

I absolutely love this H I made!! I have it hanging in my kitchen! It was not difficult but it took longer than I thought it would to make! All you need is a wooden or cardboard letter, twine, ribbon, and a hot glue gun! You can purchase all of these things at your local Hobby Lobby, Walmart, or any craft supply store! 

I love Christmas and so does my husband! He may even love Christmas decorations more than I do…but I didn't say that :) Daniel actually helped me make this one. The word Noel means Christmas carol and we love music in my house…especially Christmas music! We made this and had it hanging in our living room this past winter. This picture below is of it just hanging in the storage closet right now.  We bought the letters, painted them with red and brown paint and glued them together…easy!

I have a thing for wreaths or some kind of door decor year round. This is my spring wreath… I can hardly say I made it. All I did was super glue the flowers I bought at Hobby Lobby onto this plain wreath and added the matching ribbon. Simple yet pretty! 

Below is my most recent project. I purchased some 6x6 canvases from Walmart, scrapbook paper, and modge podge.  I already had brushes and paint at home. I painted the sides dark brown to match our living room furniture then cut up the scrapbook paper. I then used the modge podge to apply the scrap book paper on the canvas. It took a little bit of time but was fun and easy to do during my free time. I look forward to making more of these in different colors and some seasonal ones!

Feel free to leave me some links or ideas for more easy do it yourself home decor!!!

Five Minute Friday : small

I'm loving Five Minute Friday!!! Don't be shy…try it! Click HERE to see the new word to write about for five minutes each Friday! Today's word is small..

GO…

It's getting to see your husband for an hour before heading off to work and then being so happy for the 5 minutes you get to see him when you come home and he has to leave for work because you work night shift…it's the small things in life!

It's making a late night run to DQ for a blizzard…it's the small things in life!

It's getting super excited to your family once every couple months because you live too far away….it's the small things in life!

It's spending your free time with your husband being lazy on the couch and enjoying episodes of Duck Dynasty instead of going out to dinner and movies…it's the small things in life!

It's waking up next to your best friend and not caring about morning breath…it's the small things in life!

It's sleeping in and not feeling guilty about it…it's the small things in life!

It's watching your little brother play baseball and be so proud of him…it's the small things in life!

It's complimenting someone and watching their face brighten…it's the small things in life!

It's encouraging someone and helping them out during a difficult time…it's the small things in life!

It's taking the time to listen to someone someone who is hurting even when you're busy…it's the small things in life!

It's the small things in life that turn out to be the most rewarding, most memorable, and often most important!! I'm constantly learning that you don't have to have a BIG life to have a meaningful and enjoyable life! 

Stop!

Family Camping Trip in Kentucky

My family is spread out in several different states. Daniel and I live in Indiana, my parents and youngest siblings live in Alabama, two of my sisters live in Tennessee and one of my sisters goes to college in Texas. This makes it difficult for us to all get together at the same time. So this summer we decided to plan a trip where we could ALL get together. What did we decide to do? Go camping…in tents… not RVs!!! 

I have 4 sisters and 1 brother…here we are! From left to right: Danielle, Sophie, Morgan, myself, Walker, and Laura

 and when you add in my husband, Danielle's fiance Stephen, and Laura and Morgan's boyfriends Cameron and Jason, plus my parents…that made for 12 of us going camping!

 We booked 2 camp sites at Rough River Dam State Resort Park in Kentucky. We all met at the campground on Friday. The forecast was rain all weekend. We all prayed and prayed that the rain would pass and thankfully we only got a little bit of rain Friday night and Saturday morning. We also were blessed to have a campsite with lots of trees that helped block the rain. Friday night we made hotdogs over the fire and of course we made s'mores for dessert. We also listened to Daniel and Jason play guitar and sing. 

Walker roasting a marshmallow...

My handsome hubby...

We also celebrated my oldest sisters birthday…Laura 

Saturday we got up and made breakfast over the campfire…croissants rolled in cinnamon and sugar…yum! After breakfast we drove to a neat walking bridge where you have a view of the Rough River and part of the falls. It wasn't quite what we expected but it was still nice.

Isn't my hubby sweet?

Then we played some sand volleyball which with my family can get pretty competitive…no one likes to lose…especially the boys. After the volleyball game we went down by the lake. Some of us swam…others (including myself) did not swim for fear of the blue algae…yuck!

My dad and my brother...

My mom on the lake beach…

Daniel and I...

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 Then we all went hiking and the boys all had to take turns swinging on this awesome vine… 

After our hike we played a couple rounds of knock out and then we all headed to the swimming pool to cool off. The water was a little cold but it was still fun! After swimming we headed back to our camp site and made hobo meals and corn on the cob over the fire which was delicious! For dessert we made banana boats over the fire and those were amazing… I may or may not have had more than one :)

Sunday morning we made pancakes, eggs, and sausage and then we sat around the fire and sang worship songs and did a group devotion on Ephesians 3:20….thankfully God hears our praise and we are free to worship Him no matter where we are! After devotions we hung out around the campsite talking and throwing the frisbee around before taking down the 3 tents and packing everything up. Then we made some pitta pizzas over the fire for lunch….easy and yummy! 

Then we celebrated Walkers birthday a couple days early…. the boys enjoyed the blue icing...

Then we said our goodbyes and took one last group photo…this is our typical selves…

Overall it was a great camping trip! I love spending time with my family and what better way to do it than in the great outdoors?!!!

5 Minute Friday: LONELY

It's 5 Minute Friday! Today's word is LONELY…join in writing at 5 Minute Friday by Lisa-Jo Baker

GO...

Lonely sounds like a sad word. How can anyone feel lonely when we live in this crazy, hectic, non stop world filled with people every which way we go. Yet, so many of us…probably most of us have felt lonely before or do feel lonely on a daily basis. I know I have! My husband and I moved to Indiana..all of our family and friends live in The South! I often feel lonely when I hear about my group of friends all getting together back home and I feel like I'm missing out. I feel lonely when my family gets together for Birthdays, Holidays,  my brothers ball games…I'm missing out, I think it's not fair..I feel lonely! Thankfully that feeling comes and goes and isn't constant or permanent!  I have an amazing God who has blessed me with an amazing, loving, and entertaining husband! My God has blessed me with some special people here in Indiana! God has blessed me with access to technology to stay in constant contact with my family and friends back home. And finally, God has blessed me with his perfect love! I have confidence in Him knowing that no matter where I am He will never leave me. 

STOP!

Memorize Scripture…It's Necessary!

I recently picked up a book called 100 Bible Verses Everyone Should Know by Heart and started reading it. I haven't gotten very far in it but it discusses the importance of memorizing scripture, how it's vital for us emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. For some reason it suddenly clicked…oh yeah, I should be memorizing scripture! Why have I not been doing this? The Bible is our guide and our manual on how to live life. It's the best way to get to know God better. We study and memorize rules, things in school, and stuff for our work. Why aren't we memorizing Scripture? Sure we memorized stuff in Sunday School as a kid, but are we still doing that? Maybe you have, but I know I have not been doing this.  We are taught to live by God's Word... but isn't that harder to do if you don't know it by heart. Now I'm not talking about memorizing the entire Bible…that's just not realistic, but I am saying we should memorize verses of the Bible, especially those that are good to share with others in time of grief, hardship, worry, joy, sickness, fear, and to use in evangelism.  I thought to myself,  how can I  live by and share with others the best book ever written and the best, most important news ever if I don't know it by heart? God's Word is the most important and life changing thing! I don't want to just study it from now on, I want to KNOW it and MEMORIZE it! I understand memorizing does not come easy to everyone. However, we have a God who is good and powerful! If memorizing is difficult for you, PRAY! Ask God to help you! He will! I know it! Daniel and I are challenging ourselves to memorize a new verse each day. We are supporting each other and helping each other in this. Find someone to help you! I challenge you to MEMORIZE scripture... not because I'm saying you should…but because it's important so we can better live by it and have it fresh in our heads to share with others!! 

                                                     

5-Minute-Friday: Story

It's 5 Minute Friday! That means you have only 5 MINUTES to write anything about ONE word. Check out 5 Minute Friday by Lisa-Jo Baker to get the word of the day each Friday and link on!

Story

Go…

Three things pop into my head when I think of story…

1. I think of HIS story, THE story, as in the Bible, God's word…the most perfect story ever. I think of how that one story of one perfect mans life changes everything. It is the only story that saves us and matters every single day. It's the one story that everyone should read, yet so many don't. 

2. I think of how I'm living in a fairy tale story. I don't have glass slippers and I'm not living in a castle. I don't need those. I do have my prince charming though!! He's strong, handsome, smart, loving, kind, and simply amazing! He's my dream come true and I wouldn't want any Disney story to replace the one I have with my husband. 

3. I remember story time when I was a little girl with my mom. Each night before bed my mom would read a book to me, usually Berenstain Bears. She then would let me pick out the book I wanted her to read to me the next night. Those precious memories are ones I hope to pass on when I have kids one day. 

Stop.